Saturday, February 20, 2010

celebrating the single life...

The Crescat wrote:

... what a blessing it is to be alone.

Let me explain...

To be alone is not the same as experiencing loneliness. There is much joy to be had in being alone and single. When you are alone in life you can not use your personal relationships as crutches to support you through the turmoil. You either lean or Christ or you fall. In fact when things in my life are at the most tumultuous is when I feel nearest to Christ. I call on him more. I pray fervently. There are some days when I give of myself till there is nothing left. I am spent from work, then I am spent from class, then I come home and what remains is spent on my son. At night, when it's quiet and lay in my bed there is nothing left for me. No shoulder. No word of encouragement. No spouse for comfort. I can let this swallow me in sadness. Or I can pray. I can cry myself to sleep out of frustration and sheer exhaustion, or I can pour out my heart in prayer in the solitude of my room.

Even though I would not choose my current state in life and my circumstances are not ideal, I gladly except it. I still have joy. I refuse to be miserable.

When people ask me, why does God let bad things happen? I can answer, so we can experience His joy.


Amen, sister!

I know that my single life is the reason I am as close to God at this point as I am. And there are reasons for everything that happens, not that it makes them any easier. We just need to be open to what God is saying and showing to us in each situation.

As a single person I have the opportunity to "talk" in silent prayer with God most mornings before starting the busyness of the day and again at night before drifting off to sleep. I have prayer journals full of these "talks," some are my words, some are from God.

I do still hope that God has a husband in mind for me to share life with when the time is right, though. God's will be done ...