Virginity is one of the most beautiful gifts you can give your spouse on your wedding day. To be able to say that for all this time I have waited for you, even before I knew you, is sublimely romantic. If we are not capable of saying “no,” what is our “yes” really worth? It is a diluted, degraded, and despoiled “yes.” Despite this, secondary virginity is possible. We can wrap our the gift of our sexuality once again and offer the gift to God. The gift of chastity is more easily lived when relying on the grace of God rather than our own efforts. Christopher Kiesling writes in his book, Celibacy, Friendship and Prayer,
“The expectations of human love between man and woman are tainted by the standards of a sensate, sex-saturated culture rather than derived from ideals of personal dignity and genuine love. Both answers presume that if a man and woman love one another, they must go to bed together, in marriage or outside of it. Yet millions of men and women go to bed together without any love for one another”.
He continues, “The drive towards it (sex) is so tremendously powerful that it wrecks the lives of individuals, families, and society unless it is regulated” (p. 187). People are even willing to murder for the sake of genital pleasure. With this in mind, the significance of chastity and virginity can be seen in their proper context: a matter of life and death. But it is not virginity that kills – in fact quite the opposite.
From "How Dangerous is Virginity?"