Monday, July 28, 2008

Pre-Marital Sex Harms Future Marriage

By Anthony Buono

Sexual promiscuity among single people is nothing new, nor is it considered that big of a deal these days. It should also come as no surprise that even some Catholic Christians engage in pre-marital sex, and though that is surprising, it is still not “shocking” (though it should be).

Let’s face it…the experience of sex is a “good” and pleasurable thing. God has made it so. But God designed our sexuality to be used appropriately. God absolutely does NOT want us to have sex outside of the marriage covenant.

Yet some single people still allow themselves to have sex and get into what is called “the near occasion of sin”; which means they unwisely allow themselves and another person into situations where the movements of sexual attraction and desire can be stimulated, encouraged, and built up to the point of being acted on. They choose an environment or place where it could go too far with no disruption.

For some, this desire is too strong, and the will is too weak; therefore, they make the decision to commit the sexual act. Let us thank God there are many single Catholics who truly do live a chaste single life and save themselves for marriage. All too often (especially for women) their chastity commitment ends up being the cause of a relationship ending because the other is open to “giving in” to sexual desire, or is even expecting it.

I would like to shed light on this subject with something that must be said more often if we are going to make any progress helping single people lead more chaste lives and become good marriage partners.

What is that something? It is this: Every single promiscuous sexual act (especially intercourse) does a level of damage to the individuals involved which threatens their capability of making the commitment to marriage, and therefore is harmful to the future spouse and the future marriage. In fact, if someone has been very promiscuous, it is doubtful they have the capacity to make the commitment to marriage, or keep that commitment. This does not necessarily mean it is a permanent thing. But it does mean that a person with a sexually active past MUST take time off from dating (a “fasting”, if you will) and focus on being restored in their Catholic religion; namely, their personal relationship with Jesus Christ.