Today I had an "ah ha" moment about all of these feelings I have been experiencing. I realized how THANKFUL I am for all of this stuff that I am going through because for once in my life I truly feel alive. I started thinking about how I would normally react in a situation like this that involves my feelings and my heart - I would shut down, build up walls and not let anyone in. Then my thoughts continued to the end result of such a reaction - being lonely and miserable in my walled-up little world.
Nope, not this time. I am going to be grateful for all of the ups and downs that come my way and remember that even if my heart gets crushed in the long run at least I know that I was LIVING life for once and not hiding from it in a lonely dark corner. Ah ha, carpe diem (seize the day)!