Thursday, March 02, 2006

I wish...

I wish for a lot of things, but my focus today has been on my "life plan." I was reading the passage of the day on a prayer calendar that I received from church and it said: "You are God's masterpiece, created anew in Jesus Christ (Ephesians 2:10). Your life has true meaning and purpose as you carry out His will for you. Give thanks for the way He loving guides your path through life."

I am thankful for my life (and love to hear I am a masterpiece, wow, see previous days post) but I am sometimes really lost and confused about my path through life. I guess it doesn't feel like I am being guided, I pretty much feel like I am free falling most days, completely out of control. Is what I am doing, and who I am, really what God wants of me? Does my life have true meaning and purpose? I don't feel like I am doing or being anything special. Maybe that is exactly who and what I am supposed to be though? It just doesn't seem like it is anything near enough! It definitely makes me hope that the best of me is yet to come.

I wish that I had a "playbook" of my life, sent down from God, that I could follow along in as I carry out His will for me. Then maybe I could understand the meaning and purpose of what is happening (or lack of things happening) right now as related to what is to come. I suppose that would be like cheating on the biggest test of your life - that being your ACTUAL life. It would take all of the spirit out us if we had no surprises and knew what ups and downs were coming next I suppose. So, I will continue to fumble through my life, hoping that I am doing the right things. As I am being so discreetly guided I will try putting my full faith in God that I am here, living this life, for a very good meaning and purpose!

Amen! :)